Update

If you haven't noticed, I am no longer doing movie reviews. It was tough keeping pace with my rivals, Rotten Tomatoes. I could've beaten them out, but alas, they were first.

So I have started another blog, free of competition. http://metalcake.blogspot.com/

It already has two posts. Two.

So hop on the bandwagon, support me in this new endeavor, and please-please-please go Follow me real quick.  Thanks, true fans. You are just tops.

True Grit (critiqued by yours truly)

Watch the Trailer

Starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin, True Grit is a remake of the 1969 film of the same title, starring John Wayne. When I say "remake", I mean almost literally the same movie but with better actors and the La Boeuf character (Damon) has a bewitching 'stache. I'd link the original trailer, but - MY GOODNESS - they didn't know how to make a good preview back then. It's exceptionally boring and actually ruins the ending...in the official trailer. Say what you will about Hollywood, at least it's not embarrassing anymore.

Anyway, this movie blew me away. And I hate westerns, so...good on ya, Coen Brothers. It starts out with a strangely eloquent fourteen year old girl, named Mattie Ross, seeking a bounty-hunter type to help her hunt down Tom Cheney (shooting runs in the family) and avenge her father's murder. Coincidentally, Hailee Steinfeld, who plays said Mattie Ross, is actually fourteen. Yeah. That hasn't happened since, like, Shirley Temple. Hailee's basically the star, and did a great job to boot - I'm thinking we will all someday look back on the True Grit promo posters and exclaim with bona fide befuddlement, "Why isn't Hailee Steinfeld's name on here and who the poop is Josh Brolin?"

Discussing the film with a few friends, I got a comment that it was boring. I can see that - this is one of those Dialogue Movies, where you're basically just mesmerized by the sheer speech coming out of their mouths, the action being few and far between (Inglourious Basterds is another example of this new genre I just made up), and if that's not your thing, or if you're not in the mood, it probably is somewhat boring.

But other than some occasional slow dialogue (if I'm correct about the duplicate script, then the dialogue was written in the 60's so cut 'em some slack) it's an excellent film.

The humor in the movie is pretty acquired - you have to get into the old western mindset, where "Injuns is savages", Cowpoke is a common term, and the East brings nothin' but death and taxes. Then it's a hog-killin' time.

Over all, this movie surprised me - and I expected to love it already. I give it, as a Cheez-It, 90% Real Cheese. Give it a chance, even if cowboys make you want to hurl copies of Brokeback Mountain at the nearest breakable object.

Despicable Me (critiqued by yours truly)

Hey everyone, I know it's been forever since I've posted a review, but I am now back in my dorm and looking for study distractions once again! Next is Despicable Me, starring Steve Carell. I know this one's a bit old, but I haven't done a less recent review since Donnie Darko. Also, the last movie I saw in theaters was Tron Legacy, and since I haven't seen the first one, it felt impolite to judge.

Watch the Trailer

Despicable Me - with Steve Carell as Gru, Jason Segel as Vector, Russell Brand as Dr. Nefario, Julie Andrews as Gru's mom, Will Arnett as Mr. Perkins, Kristen Wiig as Miss Hattie, Miranda Cosgrove as Margo, et cetera, et cetera - was a surprising movie. Though children cinema with a star cast is usually a recipe for mediocre, this project was an excellent time investment for all actors involved, even the ones who had extremely respectable careers already.

There are a few adult-based jokes peppered throughout the storyline, one involving a Lehman Brothers reference which is hard to catch, so look out for it. But even though those are few and far between, most will find, aside from the occasional overly-silly pratfall humor, even the kid jokes are enjoyable. And animated characters' facial expressions have boundless potential as far as funny goes. Of course, Steve Carell is notable for his ability to make most ages at least chuckle lightly to themselves, but most other characters contributed a bunch o' laughs, too. Agnes and the little twinkie men are delightful.

Another plus for this movie is the soundtrack, a lot of which was performed by artist/producer/fashion designer Pharrell Williams. He wrote and performed the Dispicable Me theme, which got a lot of positive feedback. It's rap. So, curmudgeonly people should be advised to not click that link.

Basically, overall, this movie was an amazing kids movie. As far as older than that, of course that's all preference but I truly enjoyed it. As a Cheez-It, I'd say it's 90% Real Cheese. Go get it!